InsecureWritersSupportGroup-1

The Purpose of IWSG is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

To join IWSG visit Ninja Captain Alex J. Cavanaugh here.

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I’m less than a week out from finishing the draft of my current WIP. It’s only a first draft, which means I have hours upon hours upon hours of editing ahead of me. It’s not as if I get to type The End, pop it in the mail to my agent, and forget about it.

Thomas Hawk/flickrcc Thomas Hawk/flickrcc

Here’s my predicament: I’ve been a week out for over a month.

I’m writing, but some days only a hundred words, other days, no progress. Moreover, everything I write is wrong. I find myself rewriting the same passages over and over. This makes little sense given I know how the story ends, and all I have to do is get the ending on the page.

And it’s not as if I dread editing. Next to research, editing is my favorite part of the writing process. I’m looking forward to taking a red pen to this sucker. So, what’s holding me back?

I have a theory: This book is mine.

My first two novels were cobbled together incorporating advice from self-proclaimed experts who knew no more about publishing or what people like to read than I did. I took their word as gospel because they were in the business, their names were known, and I was an innocent.

Not this time. Allow me to repeat: This book is mine.

If it dies on the vine, I have no one to blame but myself. There were no publishing gurus feeding me clichés or counseling me not to tell this or that story. The result is a manuscript with what I hope is a depth and originality not present in my earlier work.

This isn’t necessarily a positive thing. Experience has taught me that depth and originality are qualities few publishers look for. I can already picture in my mind’s eye the rejection pile. Granted, it’s my agent who will take it on chin—assuming she’s willing to pitch the book—but even filtered, rejections can be rough. Especially when one has so much vested.

Most of all, I think I’m afraid to finish the manuscript because if it doesn’t sell, it will likely be my last novel. I will continue write but not for publication.

Insecure about this book? Hell, yeah.

Any IWSG words of encouragement out there? I’m in the market.

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