Purpose of IWSG: to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance.
It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!
To join IWSG visit Ninja Captain Alex J. Cavanaugh here
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“If you can’t control your peanut butter,
you can’t expect to control your life.”
~Bill Watterson, The Authoritative Calvin And Hobbes
Have you ever wondered if you have the perseverance to see this writing thing through? Regardless of what you may have heard to the contrary, there is a secret:
Focus on what you can control.
FACT: You don’t now, nor will you ever, have power over the fickle world of publishing. Don’t waste your time wishing things were different. Directing your energies toward what is beyond your command will only result in discontent and rancor—a guaranteed path to failure.
Instead, look to that which you CAN control. You can’t force an editor or agent to love your manuscript, but you can keep querying, and if necessary editing, until you find one who does. Or you can self-publish and prove them all wrong. You can’t make readers buy your book, but you can explore alternative ways to promote your work in order to reach new audiences and create your own path.
The only way this writing gig is going to work out for you is if you hold on to your personal power. I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. It’s okay to kvetch occasionally—we’re all guilty—but if all you do is bitch, maybe writing isn’t for you. Be brave, grab the reins, and ask yourself honestly:
How can I improve my situation?
Taking responsibility for our successes also means taking responsibility for our failures, and that’s one hell of a terrifying prospect—one many of us use as an excuse not to act. Don’t let this be you. Failure is part of the journey. Make your mistakes, take your knocks, get back up, brush yourself off, and try again. And don’t forget the secret: if you really want to be a writer, concentrate on what you can control, don’t become bitter about what you cannot, and don’t give up.
Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future,
but from wanting to control it.
~Kahlil Gibran
VR BARKOWSKI 
I know; I’m guilty of bitching too much. But, I also know when to step back and take an objective look – once I pick my bottom lip off the floor.
The thing I hate the worst about the publishing world is the amount of self promoting an author has to do, regardless of traditional or self publishing. But then, I remind myself that many of our classic authors – Mark Twain, Edgar Allen Poe – had to write, publish, promote, distribute, and pay all the copywriting/taxes on their works. Guess we’re all going backwards again.
The world changes, and sometimes takes a step back. Go with the flow, or get out.
Donna, if you didn’t bitch/moan a little every now and again, I’d worry that an alien life force had taken you away from us… and then I’d bitch and moan for real, like.
I agree, Mark!
Thank you Mark, lol.
Hey, I bitch all the time, Donna. In fact I’ve stopped writing for publication twice over the past six years (although I’ve never stopped writing) and been dragged back into the fold. Maybe I should listen to my own advice.
Personally, I think the amount of self-promotion required by writers is ridiculous. Yes Twain and Poe had to publish and self-promote, but they didn’t have social media to deal with. Their promotional outlets were finite. The internet is an endless platform and no one has a clue what works or doesn’t — with the exception of Amazon. Amazon has enough CONTROL over the market, they’re able to say what works.
Hahaha! This response is an example of what not to do.
Oh, I agree VR. Curse Amazon for their efficiency! The world is just changing, and we as authors just have to keep up. This was a good post VR, thanks.
Thanks. I needed to read this today!
This post was a reminder to me, Rochelle. I rarely hear you complain. Maybe because I do enough for both of us? 🙂
Oh, I think you have a whole lot of wisdom here! I have no control whatsoever of peanutbutter, thought I CAN toast my bread and top it with dill pickles. What? But seriously… yeah control what we CAN (which includes finding the path that fits our particular writing style, goals and personality best)
I actually CAN’T control my peanut butter, Hart. Recently I’ve been eating spoonfuls out of the jar which I haven’t done since I was a kid. I hope this is not a sign of things to come with my writing…
Exactly, can’t control everything, so control what you can and kick the rest to the curb, control wise.
Cats are the perfect example here, Pat. Even when they’re not in control (is that ever?), they think they are. Just ask Orlin and Cassie.
yup! a lot of wisdom in those words, thanks for sharing them!
Thanks for stopping by, EE! 🙂
Super advice. What a great post. Best wishes.
Thanks for visiting, Diana. Best wishes back to you!
What a brilliant post! I LOVE it. I’m going to print it and hang it somewhere I can see it when the querying blues start getting me down.
You have just earned yourself a new fan. 🙂
Aww, thank you! When it comes to control, querying is the worst. Querying is like sending out an invitation that says, I’m offering you my heart and soul, but feel free to RSVP with a rejection, no need to explain why.
Excellent post! I remember a keynote speaker at a project management seminar I attended talk about worry. Same principle and it helped me a lot.
Thank you for dropping by, Donna! It is a great technique, although like most things, sometimes easier said than done. 🙂
The world is what it is, right? Focus on what you can control is a great sage piece of advice. Worry only blurs our focus. A great post as always.
After your post on thinking, Roland, I actually reconsidered posting this. Taking control of what we can doesn’t mean we shouldn’t question things that appear unjustified or irrational, but I do think there’s a difference between questioning and complaining. Focusing on what we can control and not worrying about what we can’t doesn’t mean blind acceptance.
Well said, m’dear. Why waste time and breath bellyaching about stuff we can’t control?
Exactly, Susan!
I try to live my life by the rule that I can’t moan about something unless I’m actively trying to change it. Some days that’s harder than others, and I think tantrums and bouts of self pity are not only inevitable, but therapeutic too. Over the last few years I’ve got to a point where a rejection only makes me more determined, and that’s such a great place to be.
It is a great place to be, Angeline! Taste is so subjective. I think in any art related endeavor you have to become inured to rejection. If you don’t, the criticism could very well destroy you.
Great quote by Gibran. Words of wisdom, he has. And, well said. We do have anxiety over that which we have no control. Create a quality product. Promote it honestly and build relationships. Best wishes.
Play off the Page
Well said, Mary. Thanks so much for dropping by!
This is so true…
It is, Liz, although I sometimes wish it were as easy as it sounds. 🙂
Thanks for this reminder that we can’t let ourselves fall into victim mode. Life is full of mistakes and things we can’t control. The trick is finding the things we can change and concentrate on them.
Very true, Elizabeth, although facing the truth about ourselves—things that might need to be changed—can be daunting.
It is daunting. Change is hard. On my difficult days, I try to imagine myself as a caterpillar transforming into a colorful butterfly. Hopefully not a moth.
Fabulous post!! So right and so encouraging.
Thanks, Lynda, and thank you for stopping by!
LOVE this post! You’re so right. Why worry about what we can’t control?
Absolutely, Julie. So glad you visited!
Sometimes we fear the potential success as well. And we can’t control the success any more than we can the failures. Each is a moment of learning. Breathe, smile and move forward.
Excellent point, Dean. Thank you. And as wonderful as success is, we probably learn more from our failures—one of life’s little ironies.
Wow. That’s a powerful message. I think that’s one of the best IWSG posts I’ve ever read.
IWSG #224 until Alex culls the list again.
Such kind words. Thank you, Melissa! I have no idea how Alex stays current on the list even with the superior help he receives from his crew.
The writing life is definitely not an easy road, but the best life there is. A great post, VR. I have shared the ‘failure’ passage at the end with my friends at Write…Edit…Publish. WP doesn’t let me comment via my blog, so I’ll choose fb.
It’s an awesome life, Denise. We are so fortunate. I’m taking out my prayer beads, and that’s my mantra for today.
Controlling your peanut butter. I like that!!! Yes, that is one thing I’ve had to come to terms with. So much of this is outside of our control. All we can do is write well and get it out there to publishing houses somehow. You can drive yourself crazy worrying about the rest.
Absolutely, Stephanie. If a writer gets caught up in trying to control the timing and luck factors involved with publishing, they’ve already lost the battle.
I love this post since I’ve had my ups and downs, and I keep writing. I’m going to do what I love and focus on what I can control.
Same for me, Medeia. I do get frustrated at times even though I know it’s self-defeating, but my passion for the writing never ebbs.
oh what perfect advice – and of course it comes from calvin and hobbes!!
don’t worry about the things you can’t control, just do what you can.
and thanks for commenting on my cover reveal!
There’s an astonishing amount of wisdom in Calvin and Hobbes, isn’t there? Thanks so much for stopping by, Tara. Wishing you much success with BROKEN BRANCH FALLS!
This is so great…I really needed this today. I am starting to query my novel… EEK! Thanks again for your help Vi… I actually beefed up the ending as well. Not so vague.
Querying again is a scary prospect, but I’m ready. This novel has done well in the past. Although rejected, the editors like the story. So there is hope… YAY!
I surely keep you posted.
Best of luck, Michael! I see only success in your future.
Querying is a necessary evil, but it is the worst. The rejection I was prepared for, but the no-responses made me a little crazy. It’s that control thing again. LOL.
Thanks… I really appreciate your faith in me. As you know it does get hard sometimes. I also remember the non-resposes … my worst case…
AN agent requested a full within an hour of my querying. I sent out full plus the synopsis. No response. AT ALL! I waited two months and contacted her. NO reposes. Waiting another two, set out the info again, and NO response.
I was furious. How RUDE can you be? And this was from a fellow blogger/author’s agent. Sad. This situation ruined our friendship, too. I guess she felt guilty when I told her.
Such is life…
Hope you have a stirling week!